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 Entertainment Archive 2019








The when and the where you journey in time depends on who you are as a person
by Nathan'ette Burdine: May 22, 2019
 


If you watched Saturday Night Live “A Journey Through Time” skit on Saturday night, you learned that who you are as a person will determine the when and the where you travel in time while you’re enjoying your free month trial to Showtime.

Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, and Paul Rudd played three friends who told two scientists, played by Aidy Bryant and Mikey Day, about their “quantum leap” to different time periods.

They were enjoying Rudd’s free month trial to Showtime, watching a Ray Donovan marathon, when all of a sudden a big bright light appeared.

The light pulled them in and then spread them out to different points in time. Rudd and Strong ended up in that “golden city” that you read about in the bible. There were clean streets, gold shining everywhere, and pearly gates.

    "Me and her were on the couch when this glowing majestic
     gateway appeared and we found ourselves in a gorgeous city
     made entirely of crystal and something," said Rudd.

    "We were met by a group of people made up of all of the races of
     the world and they said they are the council of humanity and this
     is the future," said Strong.

Rudd and Strong got all of that good treatment because they are good people. And y’all know only a good person will let people sit on his couch and enjoy his free month trial to Showtime with him. Bad people, however, aren’t going to let you enjoy nothing; especially not a free month of their cable.

Mckinnon, she’s like the bad people. Enjoy is just not a word that’s part of her vocabulary. That’s why the time traveling gods sent her to an end of the time travel portal where hell wouldn’t even venture to. McKinnon ended up “ass out and up.” 

Here's how McKinnon described her experience, "I got sucked in so hard that my sweats and sneaks stayed in the present. I landed ass up, face down in the mud with my cooter and tooter on full display. And I’m thinking the last time I was in this position I got kicked out of Woodstock 99."

Y’all see that. She “got kicked out of Woodstock 99!” Mm-hmm. But y’all see, McKinnon’s character looks like she shouldn’t go to the good place.

She was smoking, looked like she had been drinking, and she wore those tight, washed up blue jeans that “Truck Stop Betty” wears. Anybody who knows “Truck Stop Betty” knows you don’t eat at the truck stop when Betty’s on the grill. Betty spits in your food. She uses your glass of tea like it’s an ash tray, and she doesn’t wash her hands. Messing around there with “Truck Stop Betty” may lead to you getting E.coli.

Like “Truck Stop Betty,” McKinnon doesn’t know anything about cleanliness being next to godliness.

That’s why she got the rough end of the time travel experience.










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